Can't help falling in love

What comes to your mind when you see these couples? Do you see the love and expectation in their eyes? What do you think they want to say to each other? Do they even have to say anything to each other?

I believe not. There is great use of non-verbal language between lovers. It's true communication matters, but even before these couples get together, was it not their little antics that caught the eyes of their partners? It could be the way one looks at them, or how one talks looking down because he or she is shy. There are many things these non-verbal cues that could show how one feels towards another. It could be love between a couple, anger, shyness, and the list goes on.

What do you think of when you see someone wearing their wedding band? It is obvious when the left ring finger is filled, that the individual is married and taken. There is no need for the person to say anything more!

Non-verbal cues are important, but a relationship cannot last with just non-verbal cues. There definitely has to be verbal communication between two individuals. Therefore, I believe that it is with both verbal and non-verbal cues that communication works at its peak.

Why do I say that? Let's just say for instance, when you are at an interview, not only must you answer with confidence, your sitting posture, facial expressions and even what you do with your hands also matter. If you succeed in an interview, that would have been a combination of both verbal and non-verbal cues.

What about you? What do you think of verbal and non-verbal cues? Do you think one is more important than the other? Or like me, think that both are just as important?

Senseless death follows from internet relationship

This is 21-year-old Jacqueline Beatrice Foo, who fell to her death while trying to clamber down nine storeys to elope with her 34-year-old boyfriend on July 16, 2008. Jacqueline was believed to have lost her footing and plunged to her death just as she had started to scale down the building to meet her boyfriend who was waiting in a car.

Her boyfriend was a cyberspace "predator" as he had allegedly befriended 25 young girls via Friendster.

The family, who stumbled upon her email password, had found a series of emails allegedly sent by the man who had, among others, "provoked" Jacqueline to flee her parents' home.They have also claimed that the boyfriend had mounting debts with loan sharks and only picked on girls from wealthy families. Foo, who began checking on his daughter's Internet friends, discovered that the man she was seeing was a widower with two children and used networking sites to chat up young women.

"We really believe that this guy played a major role in causing her death. If he had come to us in the right way, and proven to us that he could take good care of her, she would still be alive today " Jimmy Foo.

Indonesian-born Jacqueline, who held Australian permanent residence status, was believed to have met the internet "predator", Jack Ho, through a cyberspace chatroom, friendster, two years ago. After which, the easy-going, bubbly character who spent a lot of time swimming and shopping, besides making trinkets began to have changes in her character. Jacqueline's parents later found out that she had met in person the man she had befriended for two years over the Internet. “She started going out very often and would only return home late at night. There were even times when she would disappear for days with her boyfriend," her mother said.
In one email, dated the day she died, Jacqueline's boyfriend told her that she had to elope with him that night as she could be carrying their baby. The visibly distraught father, Jimmy Foo, said they had never expected such a seemingly innocent Internet friendship to lead to her death.
When I chanced upon this article, I was shocked to read that Jacqueline would be so foolish as to climb nine floors down with a mere raffia string. I guess that's what love can do to some people. They stop using their brains.

However, in the first place, can the relationship between Jacqueline and Jack be called love? They met on cyberspace and started a relationship that was possibly built on lies and deception. And look at the final result of it - A life lost and broken parents. So what exactly does a relationship between two people make up? And what are the results of that? Do the results lie with the individuals? Or is it simply what they do? Or perhaps, it's both.

To sacrifice or scarifice

Ever heard of scarification? I only recently heard about it, and decided to check the internet regarding this issue and to find out what exactly it is all about. Just some images to start us off..

"EW!" I bet that's what some of you are thinking, but wait, it's actually nothing new! In fact, as I was researching on the internet, I was shocked to find out that this form of art which involves scratching, etching, or some sort of superficial cutting or incision has been going on since generations ago.

For example, in the past, it was commonly practiced by the Australian Aboriginals and tribes in New Guinea to be used to denote the emotional state of the wearer of scars. Branding (a form of scarification where the skin is burnt) was done to mark slaves in the past as well. Closer to Asia in New Zealand, the Maori tribes used "moko" or facial tattoos, (a form of scarification where ink is rubbed ) which would "clothe" the bodies of those who belonged to this tribe. In Africa, by performing scarification on a child, it would be the deterrence of illnesses that have to do with vision. Scarification was also used in Africa as a form of communication culturally and for their religion. Take a look at the picture below - it was taken by Herbert Hoover of Presidential Library, West Branch, Iowa.



Personally, the thought of scarification scares me. I can't imagine digging into my skin and peeling parts out for the sake of aesthetic beauty. I truly cannot understand why anyone would torture themselves with pain, in order to have "beautiful scars" on them. Beautiful scars - that to me is already an irony. So the question I keep asking myself as I view picture after picture, read articles on this, is "What is it about scarification that one is able to bear with the pain?"

In the past, it would be a cultural thing that they had to do, in order to be accepted into their society. Therefore, the reason to scarify oneself would also be one of perception and belief. As I had mentioned above in Africa, they believe that by scarify-ing a child, it would be preventing vision illnesses. Therefore, with that thought in mind, they would, despite the pain, press on knowing the eventual result of preventing vision illnesses which could, in their opinions, be worse than scratching their child and seeing them in pain.

For modern people, it could be for art or aesthetic reasons, or for all you know, religious reason. Whatever the reason, I guess perhaps in time to come, when scarification becomes more rampant, like tattoos are now, people like me would be more open to the thought of scarification.

After all, I believe it is the environment that one is brought up with that will ultimately in turn shape his or her perception.

Scarification - pain or gain?

Vogue's Fashion Photos Courts Controversy

(Article taken from the The Straits Times on 2nd September 2008)




An old woman missing her upper front teeth holds a child in rumpled clothes - who is wearing a Fendi bib retailed at about US$100.







A man models a Burberry umbrella that costs US$200. Approximately 456 million Indians live on $1.25 per day









This article speaks of Vogue India's August edition that presented a 16-page "supple handbags, bejewelled clutches and statues-symbol umbrellas", but with a twist. Instead of well-known models or celebrities who can afford these items doing the honors of modelling them, Vogue had instead chosen to make use of average Indian people who would not be able to afford these items in their lives. (Approximately 456 million Indians live on less than $1.25 a day)

Vogue has thus sparked off debates on these images with skewed visions of India. Many found it "not just tacky but downright distasteful" and even denounced it as an "example of vulgarity". To her critics, Vogue India editor Priya Tanna's message was "Lighten up." She said that Vogue was about realising the power of fashion, and that fashion is no longer a rich man's privilege, that anyone can carry it off and make it look beautiful.

When I read this article, I was pretty dumbfounded, and disgusted by how Vogue was exploiting the poor in India. I felt that they had no right to use these people and mock them. What happened to human rights and who allowed these shots to be taken and published? "Fashion is fun, lighten up" the Vogue India editor said. What's so funny about these shots? That they are poor and everyday they struggle to make a living or worry if they have enough food tomorrow?

I really wonder how did they choose the models, and how much they were paid. Were they exploited? I mean, every single cent they get would mean so much to them even if they were paid much lesser than the models or celebrities right? Living on $1.25 a day, I'm sure even if Vogue pays them a measly US$50, that would do the trick in getting them to model for these shots willingly.

What caught my attention most was the captions of the photographs taken. According to the article, "The magazine does not even bother to identify the subjects of the photos" says Ms Gahlaut, the columnist. Vogue names the brands of the accessories in the captions instead, and identifies the sex of the wearer or carrier. Frankly, that was a turn off when I read that these people did not even get recognition even though their faces were placed on the magazine. Are they not like celebrities and models? Are they not human beings as well? They are real people, with feelings and with struggles. Do the things they struggle with make them any less significant then the rich?

Vogue probably thought they were doing both the poor and themselves a favour, by helping the models to earn quick bucks, and saving some cash for themselves. Have they ever thought about their insensitivity towards the poor society in their country and what consequences there may be in future to their nation? It's times like these I think about what the world has evolved to, for the sake of wealth. With little or no one stopping these exploitations that are happening, what will our future hold?